Monday, April 11, 2011

My Up To Date Resume

5 Rudder St.
Red Rock, NSW
(02) 6649 2668
0401 020 141

1888 - graduated as class Valedictorian from a one room prairie school with six other students, one of whom is Manitoba's number 17 seeded curler, others all farmers and religious zealots

1989 - teen TV star! on Pilot One

1989 - former teen TV star as Pilot One is cancelled after seven shows (ironically due to a writer's strike...)

1990 - travel, travel, travel - learn German, French, and enough Japanese and Spanish to order a beer

1991 - J'étais un artiste de portrait qui a travaillé les rues de Paris - un rehaut de ma vie!

1992 - spend three years thinking I'm super cool because I work at award winning Citytv in Toronto

1995 - holiday in NYC and realise Toronto is a shithole. Buy ticket to Australia.

1996 - get knocked up

1997 - give birth

1998 - married rockstar Joe Hansen - score!

1999 - spend this and subsequent years backstage drinking the Grinspoon rider and gathering material for FOIWTB

2000 - studied Stand Up Comedy Writing with Mandy Nolan and performed at various venues in NSW and Queensland

2001 - wrote and sold Beef Week to John Brousek, producer of Wog Boy, Hating Alison Ashley and The Tender Hook

2001 - 2006 - worked with script editors Joan Sauers, Stephen Davis and Susan McGillicuddy on Beef Week until the project screeched to a halt

2002 - quiet year

2003 - knocked up again

2004 - give birth again. decide homebirths suck

2005 - grinspoon wins an ARIA. nearly get kicked out of event for throwing a chair without having enough rock star credentials.

2006 - gainfully employed by the esteemed Woolgoolga Advertiser and wrote celebrity column called Speakeasy

2007 - another quiet year

2008 - awarded one of four Australian Writer's Guild Mentorship grants to the value of $10,000 including mentor Matthew Dabner and a complimentary set of steak knives

2008 - retrenched by the esteemed Woolgoolga Advertiser

2009 - keep flogging Fuck Off I'm With The Band - these boobs ain't gonna grow themselves!

2010 - worked at Yarrawarra Aboriginal Cultural Centre with my Red Rock/Corindi family and then dedicated the rest of the year to something that died in the arse like a dead gerbil.

2011 - decided this was a year for me to go for it. and write about it me going for it.  art, writing, food and style. well, maybe not style so much...

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